Presumption
by DaBlackRose
Summary: It has come time for Nephrite to face his past and what went wrong all those centuries ago. A secret discovery found on Beryl's remains leads to memories of darker times and answers that Nephrite may not be able to face. Oneshot Character Study


_A/N: Thanks to Ellourrah and MelsT for reading this when it really sucked._

_Just a little note, I did use Nephlyte instead of Nephrite. I am not a big fan of the latter spelling...and its my story. So please don't ask me to change the spelling. This oneshot was a writing exercise to help me with characterization. So think of this as a character study. I hope you enjoy._

* * *

Steely blue eyes focused intently on the light wooden box in the middle of his kitchen table. The box had been shut for years, keeping hidden proof of his ultimate failure. It had been mysterious at first, an unsolvable puzzle. Then it had become his sole clue to recover his true identity. Now that his memory had fully returned, it had become the final answer containing brooding, uncomfortable emotions that he only now felt to their full extent. 

The lithe man sat methodically, if somewhat stiffly, before the box. Sliding off the wooden top, he pulled out a crumpled folded letter. He handled the gently-worn, folded paper lightly between two fingertips, attesting to both its fragility and his hesitation. The letter caused mixed feelings and their subsequent memories to bubble to surface, many of which Nephlyte felt unprepared to deal with. His brow furrowed, while he studied the yellowing parchment caused by so many centuries of carbon degeneration. The smell of new rain and pastries filled his nostrils so vividly he thought he could feel her gorgeous chestnut waves surrounding him. Nephlyte leaned back in the chair, fingering the small tear on the left corner and rubbing the centuries-old, rust-colored blot of unknown origin. Pain-filled glittering green eyes flashed before his mind's eye, the sad betrayal that emanated from them crept delicately into his soul. He switched the unopened letter between hands carefully, trying to prolong the inevitable while pushing away his memories of her.

From what he remembered of this letter's contents, it could have been the most influential historical document ever uncovered. It could have changed the entire course of time itself, if only…

He had been the one to pull that letter from the rubble so many years ago. But it had taken him almost three lifetimes to fully understand its importance.

After many months of searching the four shittenou had found and returned to the remnants of their place of their betrayal: Jade to make his peace, Zoi to bury his gender-troubled past, and Kunz, well, Kunz probably came along just to assure himself he had left no incriminating evidence behind. All four shittenou had lived their second lives in that dark, malicious hall. They had wasted those lives blinded with dark energy and greed, trying shamefully to please her with every disgusting mission.

But even back then, they all secretly held a deep loathing for the Demon Queen, though none of them guessed just how far her demonic tendrils had stretched within their lives. It was why decades later, Nephlyte had felt compelled to go to the castle searching for something to prove to himself that it hadn't been all for naught.

In truth, he rationalized later, it was to see for himself the remnants of the Demon Queen lying in her smoky death. He had to touch her rotting, singed flesh to remind himself that light had triumphed, regardless of the fact that he, King of the Stars, had been on the wrong side. He had been on the wrong side and dragged the rest of his companions with him.

Nephlyte tensed at the memory. He still had a very long way to go proving himself worthy of their trust again, his small consolation was that Endymion hadn't come with the rest.

When he retrieved the letter from its century long prison on the bosom of the Demon Queen's rotting corpse, he knew it was significant. He had been apprehensive, afraid of what could be contained in the letter: a summoning spell for Metallia, a confession, a list of the evil things she'd done, or even a grotesque love letter to some poor soul.

After considering that last option and the probability of him knowing the letter's recipient, he had hidden it from his comrades, to open later.

When later came, he was horrified to find it addressed to him. For many weeks he couldn't convince himself to read it. In some ways, he still wished he never had. But like all the facets his love exuded, the letter came as a surprise twist, delivered to him directly by fate and fate was not to be ignored.

He had spent many hours meticulously dissecting each word, trying to determine if there was a code or a hidden message within its voluptuous text. But of course, he didn't fully remember her then and didn't know the true tragedy this letter would open his eyes to.

It's true, he'd like to say that even in his brain-washed existence he had remembered her, that her stunning smile would stay with him to his dying days and beyond. But that wasn't the case, Nephlyte was no Endymion.

Though he, arguably, found part of her in others, he never had the change to meet her the second time around. Thus, he had placed his mind elsewhere, on a young school girl named Naru. She had been his comfort then.

It had been her determined green eyes that had lured him to Naru. Her kindness had kept him there and her rose-pedal, auburn waves had hooked him. She had felt so right then that he hadn't realized what he was actually searching for had been within his grasp the whole time. The very thing that could have saved him was once again lost by his own shortcomings.

The muscle in Nephlyte's jaw flexed briefly when he thought of how pitifully happy he thought he had been with her cheap replacement. He physically restrained himself from crushing the letter under his powerful grip.

He smoothed the letter one last time, preparing. Finally, he lifted the flaps, revealing elegantly scrawled, faded, black, cursive lettering. Several characters exhibited flourishes and extra curves that proved this letter was from a much different time, but the words were distinguishable nonetheless.

_Neph,_

I woke up this morning and you were already gone. By the time you read this, I shall already be on my way to meet the Senshi to begin our preparations. I pray you forgive my abrupt departure, especially so soon after our spat, though I doubt you will really notice.

Rei spoke to me this morning. Her reports confirmed my nightmares. The dark army is coming closer than we originally thought. She says the first waves of the darkness can already been seen from the towers of the Moon Palace.

I am unable to shake that foreboding feeling. I thought we would have more time to train, though perhaps that is the nature of these sorts of events-- catching us unaware.

It feels like only yesterday when you asked me to 'trip over your feet' at Serenity's fifteenth birthday. How I miss that time, so easy and straightforward. All that we required then was losing those dratted guards. Do you remember our signals? And those flowers you sent through Naru, the maid. Of all of us, I would not have ever thought we would be the first to break the dating edict.

I thank Selene everyday that we did. Only you could have kept me standing after mother died. But, it was not until our fight last night that I realized how much I depend on you.

It seems unfitting to leave with our hostile words hanging in the air. However, I refuse to apologize, they still have a right to know.

Serenity did grant the Senshi a few days to say our goodbyes beforehand. I was tempted to stay to try and resolve what we could, but I decided it might be easier to clear my head and make my own decisions.

Besides, this will be my last battle, after our news comes out. And I cannot shake that sinking feeling that I shall arrive to late. I can almost foresee the darkness engulfing everything before I arrive and everyone not allowing me to aide those in need. I am sure the others shall feel the urgency too, and I shant deny it now on the eve of battle.

I would suggest not to worry about it. I standby what I said before, but I will not endure secrecy and seclusion any longer. It has been three months since we eloped and nobody knows. They think I am with my father, sorting out family business -a straightforward lie. Our lives are not simply sneaking behind pillars anymore. It is full of lies. Everything we do together is filled with them. We have a marriage based on deception, and I can bare it no longer. It is time for a change; and for the first time in my life, I am ready to face the consequences. I hope you are, too.

I love you, and I am not ashamed. When I stand before the Senshi, I can now face them with pride because they will know the truth. I can enter the battlefield prepared and focused.

After the battle, I shall be taking a side trip to Jupiter to tell my father. His rage shall be fierce, but if I cannot face it now then my life shall forever be ruled by him. That is a price I am not willing to pay any longer.

Queen Selene shall also be informed. I can only pray that she shall not demand my resignation. Perhaps I will appeal to Serenity and her love affair with your Endymion. Once she knows my predicament, she might be more lienient. My father will also be a useful ally here, since he will offer no more daughters to be trained in service of the Moon.

Before you start tearing down the city, it was I who asked Endymion not to tell you about Senshi preparations. This is something that I must do on my own. How else am I to grow out of the spoiled princess you say I am?

I stole your favorite shirt before I left, so I could smell you while I am gone, so don't bother searching for it. I have a surprise for you, when I get home. I look forward to the day I will return to you. We will be able to embrace in the street for all to see.

Your Lady Zeus

Nephlyte closed the flaps quickly, containing the terror that pulsed through his veins, the loathing that he placed on himself. How differently the universe could have been had he only gotten this letter in time! Fate had toyed with his ego, proving once and for all how invincible he really was by placing so much on this insignificant piece of parchment.

If only he hadn't been so stubborn, so sure the bitch had left him, that she had grown tired of their eternal love after only three months. How asinine he had been, pacing around his royal suite like an angry three year old! Throwing the china at the servants and refusing even Prince Endymion himself-- the last hope he had to discover the truth was thrown away because of his temper tantrum. He had sworn revenge on the princess he'd put so much emotion forth for and doomed them both in the process.

He still tortured himself with how he could have been stupid enough to fall into the Demon Queen's plans so easily. She hadn't had to do anything extreme to separate their romance, or shake his foundation and confidence. She just had to steal a simple goodbye letter and he came running, with his three comrades in tow, tipping the balance of power and causing all of fate to be changed forever.

It had all started so heartbreakingly innocent, a girl at a dance who was bored in a corner that had avalanched into the most liberating relationship he had ever imagined. She had been there, his little wallflower, ripe for the picking. Fate had forced them together a second time during combat training, as if it was making up for what was to come. There he saw his blushing, lady-like dance partner bloom into the strong warrior she would become.

Nephlyte stroked the letter lovingly. It had been him all those centuries ago, who had been the selfish one. It had been him who needed her comfort and her protection more than she needed his. He had been so quick to judge and point out her flaws that he never tried to fix his own. He should have known she wouldn't have left him, not after all they'd been through.

But the black stain on his soul had insisted otherwise, his pride and ego had been wounded deeply and he couldn't let it go. She had been so different from the others when he met her, so unimpressed. Where the others had been mundane, flirty and predictable, she had always kept him guessing with her many facets of personality. He couldn't read her, and even after years of dating she could always throw something new at him. She had been the girl to stand tall and fearless among the other Jupiturian Princesses. He guessed right away that she would be chosen as a Senshi. During the Senshi training, she had been the first to knock him off his feet in hand to hand combat, and he had been continuously trying to stand since then.

He smiled slyly at the memory. Her brazen attitude had impressed him enough he remembered it centuries later. Nephlyte's smile faded though, as haunting memories floated into his mind.

What a seductive lie the Demon Queen had exuded, promising him the stars in the sky with Jupiter's heart on a plate. The vision of her pleading green eyes, flowing with tears of regret just to be rejected as wordlessly as she left him became the fuel for his revenge. Slowly, the power and promises granted by the Demon seductress became the tar that had blackened his soul.

It was the tar and the fuel combined that had lit the fire that had consumed the Moon Kingdom, the fire that had tipped the scales in favor of darkness. The fire that engulfed his world and everything he ever loved.

The day he stepped out onto the battlefield adorned in a Beryl-issued uniform he had never felt more ready for blood. His eyes burned and the enemy—those who had once been his friends—fled in fear at his very sight. Even the shittenou, who had followed him blindly into the seductress's clutches, feared him that day.

But his bloodlust only burned for one, the ground shaking lightening and those electric green eyes that had caused him so much pain flashed on the nearest crater. She smoldered with power that day, a white glow of static surrounding the Amazon. She easily took down hundreds in one burst while rage glittered in her eyes, a rage he had never seen. It was controlled and deadly.

So hot was his hatred, so fresh was his betrayal that he didn't hesitate. She didn't notice him at first, stalking her every move like a lion on the prowl. It had only been his gaze full of sizzling hate that had caused her to falter, the rage fading from her eyes while the white static dissipated. She had met his gaze with something he had never seen, nor cared to dissect.

Now it was that gaze that haunted him. It was one filled with the pain and disbelief caused only by the deepest betrayal. The others backed away unnoticed as he began to circle his wife. He grunted the noise of the demonic creature he had become, his eyes overflowed with the fire that was about to be fulfilled.

Replaying the scene over and over in his mind over the next century, he recognized the dark knowledge spark in her eyes and the horror of her realization. But she let him approach, sword drawn, it was perhaps what tortured his soul the most. She watched him jump and land, unspeakable pain running through her body, a testament to her undying loyalty.

Nephlyte couldn't recall the point he had made the decision to run his blade through her. He never knew how much of it was dark energy and how much was the fire that had superficially blazed in his soul, but then he hadn't been in control of his body then. The Demon Queen's work had been carried out and he hadn't been strong enough to resist it. With the mighty Sailor Jupiter down and each Senshi falling to their own shittenou, the Moon Princess became a flower for the picking.

But Nephlyte noticed none of this. Not his beloved Prince diving before neither Serenity to block Beryl's first blast, nor Serenity's anguished cry as she threw herself into the oncoming winds that swept up her love's dying body.

Nephlyte later saw the others repent long into their second lives, though many didn't realize why. But he withdrew completely, during the centuries he spent between space and time. He built tall, impenetrable walls around his inner emotions. He was never sure how much of his actions had spawned from the Demoness and how much had been his thirst for revenge.

Pained green eyes had gazed at him, sword piercing her middle, dark crimson blood running down his sword. He had grinned maliciously as he pulled her apart limb from blessed limb watching her suffer and scoffing, while inside he noted ever betrayed look and every pained cry waiting for her to show the anger and hatred that never came.

It had been when he delivered the final blow, her broken body lying fragile and willing before him that he started to realize what had happened. "The baby," she whispered softly, a sad, knowing glimmer died in her pained eyes.

An atomic bomb silently exploded from within as realization blazed across his brain. It was the one sound that finally cleansed his soul of the Demoness's taint. It screamed and struggled from the depths of despair to be free of what had just transpired. But it would not escape for several agonizing minutes, watching her body shudder and fail, tears still streaming down her cheeks, mortal clarity clouding her eyes.

That image had been the last one his eyes partook before he was banished to a place between time, where it replayed itself for centuries. Nephlyte shrouded himself in the dark cloak of his own guilt, the blood of a child staining his immortal soul.

Nephlyte's eyes moistened. How completely unnecessary it all had been, how easy an answer it was. A letter, a tiny two parchment letter, could have saved nations—an unborn child-- if only he had found it in time!

His hands trembled uncontrollably. He began to drown himself in the deep, dangerous pool of if-only's he had carved over centuries. His soul suffocated in them while his brain was marinated.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, his hands calmed and the if-only' were forced down. His eyes closed again and he regained control. His composure slowly melted back into his usual apathetic contemplation.

He redeposited the letter in its wooden box and stood, a fierce determination shining in his eyes.

This time he would search the ends of the earth to find her. This time their relationship would be strong. This time he would be the strong one. This time he would stop at nothing until he was lying in her arms, her glorious scent encasing him. This time their child would be born.

He delicately placed the box on the top shelf of his closet, where it had been shut away. After three laps around his apartment, he stared vacantly at the picture frame on his mantle. Its contents proudly displaying the smiling faces of a family he didn't belong to. He had bought the frame at a secondhand store with the picture already in it, further securing himself in his web of lies.

Green eyes flashed before him.

Nephlyte's mind perked up as he strode back into his room, retrieving the letter from its shamed prison. He pulled the fake family from its revered spot, ripping their faces down the middle. His jaw twitched as he slowly worked the folded letter into the frame.

The satisfied man nodded, changing directions and closing the door to his apartment firmly, leaving the letter sitting proudly behind clean glass on the center of the mantle in his abandoned apartment. Nephlyte stepped forward, finally beginning his search unhindered.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I worked pretty hard on it to get everything just right. Let me know what you thought. Reviews help me grow! I almost DIED after I found out Mako was pregnant. Talk about complete heart-break. Neph is such a strong character to keep trying. If that happened to me, I'm pretty sure I would hate myself for all eternity..._


End file.
